My Therapy Journey: Learning to Understand My ADHD Brain

I’ve been through hard times, tough times and truly chaotic times, and each time I came away asking myself: Am I the problem? Why do I feel so different from everyone else? When my relationship broke down, it pushed me to take an honest look at myself and finally ask for help.

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Taking the First Step

With tears in my eyes and a huge weight of shame and guilt, I started searching for a psychologist in my local area. After carefully reading through options, I decided to begin my journey with a psychologist. I had never done anything like this before, so I had no idea what to expect.

What Changed in Four Months

Four months later, I can honestly say this: I am not fixed, and I am not cured—because I was never broken. What I needed was understanding. Working with my psychologist has given me knowledge and insight into myself that I never had before. I didn’t know I was neurodivergent. After a few sessions, my psychologist asked me whether anyone had ever mentioned ADHD to me before. Until that moment, no one had.

From Trying Harder to Understanding Differently

Working with my psychologist helped me realise that my brain is not suddenly going to work like everyone else’s just because I push myself harder. I spent most of my life believing that effort was a missing piece—but it wasn’t. Understanding my neurology was. That shift, from trying harder to understanding myself differently, was the first major turning point for me.

Letting Go of Shame

The shame I carried internally made everything worse, not better. I was trapped in constant negative thoughts, replaying every possible outcome of situations that might never even happen. I genuinely believed that being hard on myself kept me accountable. Sometimes it did—but most of the time, it was exhausting. Through therapy, I’m learning to be kinder to myself, let go of shame, and give myself grace. For a long time, I was my own worst enemy internally.

Grieving the Version of Me That Never Existed

During therapy, I realised I had been grieving a version of myself that was never real—the organised, present, disciplined, linear version of me. I’ve never been that person. I was exhausted from trying to become someone I simply could not be. Now, with support, I’m learning to accept that my brain works differently because of ADHD, and that’s okay. I may never become the picture-perfect version of myself I imagined, but I can become the best version of me in this moment—and that matters more.

Learning What Actually Helps

Not every strategy works for brains like ours. With my psychologists help, I’ve felt safer and more confident practising breathing techniques and staying present in the moment. It sounds simple, but it really does help—especially when you practise when you’re calm, so the skill is there when you truly need it. And honestly, it works far better for me than the usual textbook “box breathing,” which tends to make me overthink my breathing and panic even more.

Where I Am Now

I’m grateful for the journey I’m on now and for the understanding I’ve gained. I still have a long way to go, but it no longer feels overwhelming or frightening. Having ADHD doesn’t have to be scary. If you can learn to work with your brain instead of against it, as my psychologist is helping me do, then so much becomes possible.

Three Reasons to Consider Therapy

Here are three reasons why I believe therapy can make a real difference:

1. You are listened to without shame or criticism

Therapy has shown me that I can be the complete, unfiltered version of myself. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I can speak openly and honestly and be truly heard. There is something incredibly validating about being listened to with care and attention. That experience alone can be deeply affirming and nurturing.

2. You are taking a proactive step towards change

Making that first appointment is one of the bravest things you can do. It means you’ve become aware of the struggles you’re carrying, and you’ve decided to face them rather than avoid them. Therapy helps you work through fear, anxiety and confusion by getting to the root of what’s going on. It’s a powerful reminder that you are capable of doing hard things.

3. You deserve support

Even if you feel like your problems aren’t “big enough” for therapy, you still deserve support. So many of us bottle up emotions because we don’t want to burden other people. But support matters, and speaking things out loud can bring real relief. As the saying goes, a problem shared really can be a problem halved.